What Does It Mean to Be an Ally?
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June 21, 2024
Earlier this month, in search of a good answer, I read some articles on the topic. Then, I phoned a friend for her thoughts. She has a Masters in Social Work, undergraduate degrees in Social Justice Advocacy and Psychology, and an advocacy track record that I admire. Finally, I attended an LGBTQ+ ally workshop put on by the Eastern PA Trans Equity Project at the Malvern Public Library. The workshop was called “Ally is not a Noun – It’s a Verb!” and the speaker was top-notch.
My friend, the workshop, and the articles each explored allyship in all of its facets including: why people need allies, understanding stereotypes, the benefits of inclusion, what allyship looks like, and actions we can take to become a better ally for any community. For anyone interested in learning more about the “micro, metro, and macro” activities we can do to become better allies (and what to avoid), a common theme was read, learn, and educate yourself; ask respectful questions and be curious. Here are just a few of many other cost-free activities we can be doing to support our LGBTQ+ friends and colleagues:
Get out and vote. This is a critical way to ensure that the LGBTQ+ community’s voice is always heard in the political process.
Adopt little signals that have a big impact. When looking to foster a more inclusive environment, we can signal support by putting a small Pride flag on display in our offices or adding pronouns to email signatures and social media profiles. It normalizes the practice of not assuming someone’s gender, and it’s an easy way to say “all are welcome here.”
Choose inclusive language. Word selection is pretty important in many professions, including the law. So, it shouldn’t really come as a surprise that precision with our choice of words and language actually matters. Our world is pretty “gendered.” Many of our everyday phrases exclude people who don’t identify as exclusively male or female. Mankind, chairman, mailman, and manmade are all phrases that – with some intention and thought – can be replaced with more inclusive terms like humankind, chairperson, mail carrier, and synthetic. The same is true for “maternity leave” and “paternity leave” when compared with the more inclusive “parental leave.” And, as a greeting, “ladies and gentlemen” and “guys and gals” is simply less gender-inclusive than “colleagues, team, people.” The point is that, with small, intentional changes to the phrases we choose, our language becomes more inclusive and supportive of our LGBTQ+ colleagues.
Listen. Listening is a pretty important skill. We often build trust by hearing each other out and respecting the knowledge and perspectives that we each bring to a conversation. A good ally is no different. They support without overshadowing. They develop a genuine understanding and connection by hearing the words and ideas of marginalized people, like those within the LGBTQ+ community. Attend a workshop, Pride event, or seminar. Talk to a friend. Tune into a podcast or listen to a book on tape. One suggestion that I thought was profound was to look at my own Instagram, Facebook, and Spotify feeds, with the goal of noting any lack of representation: Do I only listen to white artists? Do I follow anyone with a disability? Do I get any messaging that isn’t just affirming of me? Depending on what we find, we can be intentional and purposefully decide to follow people within marginalized communities, to amplify their voices, words, and ideas.
Of course, I’m just scratching the surface. I’m also not doing justice to my friend or the workshop speaker. Both of these people are so knowledgeable, articulate, passionate, and accepting of the fact that each of us sits in a different place on the ally spectrum. But, if you are reading this post, then you are somewhere on that spectrum. And that, they said, is what’s really important.
